tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post1640115784758443528..comments2023-10-15T08:47:16.191-04:00Comments on Spiral Reverie - An Author's Musings: Pastry Deer AwardBenjamin Fennellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03969365899812684110noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-42120180679842661942009-06-01T08:58:16.386-04:002009-06-01T08:58:16.386-04:00Much sympathy, much sympathy. I can relate to worr...Much sympathy, much sympathy. I can relate to worrying over losing a friend upon developing feelings for them. It's certainly part of why I denied my feelings for her for a long time. Best of luck with all that, at any rate. If all else fails, at least you've got a good friend. :)<br /><br />Exactly. After my main musical experience having been academic, learning the basics then just performing various classical (And a few contemporary at school) pieces for years while being expected to constantly improve at a certain rate in certain ways, I'd like to learn something more for myself, and once I get the basics mastered, really move on into something more creative with it. A different direction with music, ideally, than I've experienced in the past. I imagine that'd be even more fulfilling.Benjamin Fennellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03969365899812684110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-46041909944622986772009-05-31T07:24:39.816-04:002009-05-31T07:24:39.816-04:00Well unfortunately I see the object of my unrequit...Well unfortunately I see the object of my unrequited affection <I>very</I> frequently, I'd pretty much say he's one of my best friends. Which is <I>the</I> biggest impediment (right after my shyness on such matters) to my broaching the subject... I'm scared of losing a very close friend in the process (knowing him he'd be likely to "disappear" for a bit to make things "easier" for me). Plus on the rare occasions when I have thought myself to be prepared to mention it... something has always come up and interfered!<br /><br />Yeah, the big problem in learning any instrument is in those early years... lots of insistence on technique end endless scales and exercises... but the result later on is rewarding!CrazyCrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17512240982215608638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-83638846430003214992009-05-30T09:09:06.310-04:002009-05-30T09:09:06.310-04:00I'm glad it was enjoyable, haha. I don't tend to t...I'm glad it was enjoyable, haha. I don't tend to think of myself as the most interesting person in the world by any stretch of the imagination - just an eccentric nerd with literary aspirations and a lot of interests.<br /><br />Yeah, this is easily the longest I've dealt with these sorts of feelings now, having first met the individual in question close to 7 and a half years ago now. But she and I are never in contact consistently enough and haven't spoken in a few years again now, and when we have been in contact, we've never really been in any sort of situation where I could even consider admitting my feelings, since they would've been nothing but a major inconvenience otherwise. I was in denial about my emotions for her in a long time - we were just good friends who clicked really well, after all. And it's really hard to say whether or not there would ever have been much of a chance of reciprocation - I'm expecting not at any point, but I still don't know with any certainty. I thought I could get over her and spent years trying. That didn't go so well, so yeah, absurd method of expressing my feelings for her and finally putting them out there so that she might eventually know. Even if all that amounts to nothing, as expected, my hope is that the act of expression itself might be enough for me to move on. At this point, I'm pretty much just expecting to be alone, but I'm not really uncomfortable with that idea. Not happy, but I can live just fine without needing anyone.<br /><br />Ah indeed, I picked up the Cello in 4th grade, had to drop it for a year after moving to North Carolina since there was no elementary school program, and then picked it up from 6th through 8th grades, even playing in a local string ensemble outside of school in 8th grade. Had to quit after that since there was no room in my schedule in high school, since those first two years, I only had 6 classes a day every day. Halfway through, they switched over to block scheduling and expanded to 8 classes, 4 longer ones each day, trading off from day to day. So I never got back to music, and at this point, I'm not sure if I'd want to go back to the Cello or anything classical - there was a lot of stress in my private lessons to focus on mechanically improving by a certain amount from week to week - but if I do pick up anything again, I just want to do it for myself, to find a new means of creating and expressing myself creatively. It's all just much easier said than done, difficult as it is to learn - let alone really gain any natural full feel for - any musical instrument. I can't really sing, myself, in general - allergies being a part of that. But yeah, at least the flute's certainly a beautiful instrument.Benjamin Fennellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03969365899812684110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-47524849601373153982009-05-29T07:10:07.099-04:002009-05-29T07:10:07.099-04:00Well as someone who knows next to nothing about yo...Well as someone who knows next to nothing about you other than you're writing a novel and can speak Japanese (which I still find impressive), I must say it was an interesting read!<br /><br />I'm totally with you on numbers 6 and 13... I have a severe tendency to fall down the unrequited love path myself... and let it go on for probably waaaaay to long without ever having the guts to talk to the subject. On the other hand on at least one occasion I've made an excellent friend out of it! ;o)<br /><br />Am also on the same page with the musical instrument. I used to play the classical flute rather well 9after 6 years of hourly weekly classes with one of the best flute soloïsts in Mexico you can bet I at least wasn't all that bad at it). But I slowly ended up dropping it when I came to Spain for University. Living in dorms isn't conducive to practicing. And I couldn't figure out how to find myself a new teacher. Musical education in Europe (and particularly in Spain) is rather rigid, with you're practically being obligated to join a conservatory. I still miss it and regularly say "this season I'm going to pull out my flute and teach myself to play it again", then it never happens. I also wish I could play the piano and/or guitar, as the only thing I don't like about the flute is that I can't sing (which I love) as I play! :pCrazyCrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17512240982215608638noreply@blogger.com