tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post7004970846016537364..comments2023-10-15T08:47:16.191-04:00Comments on Spiral Reverie - An Author's Musings: Go Outside? Where There's People?Benjamin Fennellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03969365899812684110noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-69859289417525250112009-04-11T04:04:00.000-04:002009-04-11T04:04:00.000-04:00I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)I started out intending...I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)<BR/><BR/>I started out intending to keep it simple, but once my mind really got going, I wanted to take more time to fully explore hermit/shut-in culture on a more international scale and look into the reasoning behind it. People don't seem to look at the issue all that often as is, and I think there's a lot to get out of this sort of subculture and this whole concept of rebelling against the traditional industrial/post-industrial society we live in that can't really sustain itself so well these days. I'm no fan of the idea of getting stuck in the hellish 9-5 cycle of working your life away just so you can spend money. It's so dehumanizing on so many levels.<BR/><BR/>I'm more or less like that myself - I want to eventually live on my writing and have the freedom to do whatever else I feel like, rather than just defining myself by going somewhere for most of the day for money and living that sort of repetitive existence. Though in lacking a lot of social ties, I'm definitely an overall hermit of sorts, though I've found a somewhat healthy way of balancing things so that I'm not entirely social life-less, and I get tons of time to be creative, pursue hobbies, work on projects, and generally introspect, living in my own head. I think living this way's really only come to help me know who I am, what I want in life and stand for, and to generally feel more comfortable in my own skin.<BR/><BR/>I can definitely relate to the letdowns. I've had no shortage of disappointment with people - which has fed the development of some rather deeply rooted trust issues and general misanthropy. But despite that, I've always contradictorily been a humanist by nature as well, so even as much as I tend to dislike and distrust people, I try not to treat them poorly, and do to what I can to bring out the best in those whose lives I can affect. I've got very few people I'd consider potential lifelong friends myself - my life's mostly been a matter of having one small subset of friends for so many years, then losing them and getting another. But I've had around a handful of friends since early college that I could see likely keeping in touch with in the long run. I'm fairly passive by nature, so people frequently walk away from friendships with me in the assumption that I'm not interested, in my not actively pursuing social interaction with them. Things tend to work a little better when friends figure that out about me and are willing to be more patient with me, as well as make a point of engaging me socially more often themselves, while still giving me my space. I'm a pretty complicated and difficult person to be friends with, I'm rather certain, haha.<BR/><BR/>Wow, quite an ultimatum from your boyfriend. Though to an ideally healthy end, obviously. It's definitely easy to fall into romanticizing the Hemingway way of life, though society today tends to look down on that - as it does anyone who isn't some kind of social butterfly. Good luck with all that, though. Definitely good to maintain a healthy level of cynicism, though I'd definitely recommend taking care that that cynicism doesn't turn into outright pessimism.Benjamin Fennellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03969365899812684110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-73038424317633579032009-04-10T12:52:00.000-04:002009-04-10T12:52:00.000-04:00Wow, what an interesting post, thank you so much f...Wow, what an interesting post, thank you so much for writing it. I had no idea about the different categories in Japan and I found that very interesting. I guess I would consider myself the artistic freeter who tries to stay as far away from "what do you do?" conversations as possible. I do whatever I want, damn it!<BR/><BR/>I agree that everyone needs some kind of social stimulation. I have had a long history of people letting me down and I tend to write people off very easily these days. Sometimes it certainly seems easier to focus on myself than focus on spending time with these types of people. I am not the type of person that keeps lifelong friends.<BR/><BR/>After a long talk with my boyfriend (who is incredibly good at making lifelong friends and makes my handful of casual friends look pitiful), he has decided to not let me move in with him unless I make an effort to be social outside of the house, both with him and without him. I guess the Hemmingway idea is out the window. I think I can manage it, although I think I will have to go into it knowing that people are not perfect and will let me down eventually.<BR/><BR/>lindsay || <A HREF="http://www.newyorkwords.net" REL="nofollow">newyorkwords.net</A>Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18143993209515462136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-24977255017913965492009-04-10T01:46:00.000-04:002009-04-10T01:46:00.000-04:00Yeah, I'd have to say that's a definite fair asses...Yeah, I'd have to say that's a definite fair assessment. There are certainly people here in America who look down on Europeans as "lazy" as a result too, in placing a higher value on more important things than obsessively working on a career. Obviously, theirs is not a mindset I agree with, personally.<BR/><BR/>Philosophically a big part of my life in wanting to be a writer is all about the passion for creating things of value - stories that entertain, provoke a broad range of emotional responses, and make statements throughout that might provoke people to think some. But part of the whole ideal in living that sort of life is also assertion of control over my own life, versus sacrificing my life to be some wage slave as we see as so important here in America. I want my life to be my own, as opposed to any company's. And I can't see the 9-5 grind as being anything but soul-crushing - it's not what I need, and it's not where I'd thrive. Neither that world nor I have any need of one another, while I've heard the call to reach people through my writing for most of my life. If I'm not growing and doing things for myself, it basically feels like the world's caving in around me.<BR/><BR/>And indeed, people need social interaction to survive. As much of a hermit as I can be, even I have my limitations there, since I still live with my family, still talk with friends fairly often via instant messengers and voice chat on Skype - a couple of my friends are off teaching English in Japan now - and have some semblance of a social life despite not seeing people in real life much beyond my family. As an introvert, I try to keep some kind of balance. But yeah, being completely alone can be crucial to valuable meditative introspection.<BR/><BR/>Ah, indeed, that'd undoubtedly make for an interesting and valuable experience. If you pursue it at some point, I wish you the best of luck with personal development as a result of it. But indeed, it's all about the divide between unwanted time alone and chosen, self-directed solitude.Benjamin Fennellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03969365899812684110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7954985364832387420.post-90127338295328866292009-04-09T12:10:00.000-04:002009-04-09T12:10:00.000-04:00My mom used to state a fundamental difference betw...My mom used to state a fundamental difference between life in the US and life in Europe was that in the US "people lived to work" whereas in Europe "people worked to live".<BR/><BR/>I haven't lived in the US since I was a child, but from what I've observed via visits, conversations with friends and family there, newspapers, TV and movies... it seems like quite an accurate description. In the US if someone isn't pushing forward constantly to better their career, if they're just satisfied with getting by (but therefore having more time to spend with family or developing hobbies), then they're frequently considered a "failure". People need to wake up and realise that the purpose of living isn't a 9-5 desk job to pay the bills and get ahead. The joys and richness we get out of life come from our personal development, our interactions with people...<BR/><BR/>And from that latter is why I think most people would have a hard time with the life of a "true" hermit. We are social animals, and human contact is as necessary as breathing to most of us. Although I think a "temporary" hermit choice would be a good thing for many people. But I don't just mean staying at home and not seeing anyone but continuing with your usual routine. I mean really isolating themselves from their world without the distractions of TV, internet etc. To give them time to actually THINK about themselves, what they want, how can they get there, what's important to them.<BR/><BR/>Personally I've been leaning towards putting myself in that type of situation for some time to see if it will help me make up my mind on what to do with my life once the current phase I'm in is over (never-ending PhD). I just can't seem to bring myself to do it yet. As you say, it has to be willing.CrazyCrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17512240982215608638noreply@blogger.com