Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Love & Internets

Finding love on the internet. Brilliant idea, no? There's no way that hot girl who's totally digging you is actually some guy from Omaha who kind of looks like Santa Claus who's looking to find people to rape over the internet. Notice how s/he keeps misspelling "vagina" when you have cyber-sex? Yeah. That's a dead giveaway. Who uses that word in that context, anyway? Aside from perhaps Stephen Hawking. (You know it's true. He can get away with it.)

Apparently this guy agrees with me. (At least with the whole using-the-internet-to-seek-love thing. Let's pretend that the first paragraph wasn't somewhat completely irrelevant here.) He even set up a website. If that doesn't say love at first sight, what does? Series of events like this seem to be full of conveniences. Random girl on the subway? Check. (Though normal people, we tend not to call anyone the anything 'of our dreams,' when we don't know them or anything about them.) Both individuals involved hipster/scene types? Check. Both of 'em under thirty and not horribly unattractive, thereby making this 'cute' or 'romantic' instead of weird and creepy? Check. Friend who conveniently works in video and has his own site, making it easy to whip something like this together in 24 hours? Check. Likelihood of this just being a viral video culminating in either trying to sell us something or pull off another Lonelygirl15 phenomenon? Check-a-roony! (Please tell me I didn't just type that.)

Hard to say what to make of this, but suspicion is the natural reaction. You can't trust anything or anyone on the internets these days. Some of those people are donating money to Ron Paul. If real, I kind of want to almost root for the guy and this whole stunt actually working. Even if there's probably a brain-breakingly large number of women out there who fit his description one way or another. (And he's pretty much begging to be pranked, putting that personal contact information out there.) I'm attempting something similarly describable as one hell of a long shot, as I talked about some a couple of entries ago. (Though granted, I'm less likely to be seen as 'cute' in doing this, considering that I'm kind of funny looking at best on my good days.) Though in my case, I actually know the woman in question, and have had a meaningful connection before. Rather than just, say, kind of stalking someone I saw on the subway, like this guy. Ah, internet, what will you come up with next? Not exactly a Densha Otoko/Train_Man situation here as is.

See? Now I'm one of those current, up-to-date trendy internet commentators. Seeing as this whole thing started within the past day or two. This is me being current. (On which note, I bet you can't wait until I finally take time out to comment on the Blackwater scandal and the government's complete and utter failure to properly oversee our contractors in Iraq. Corruption?! Who'd have suspected?!) Now that I've established myself as relevant, and maybe hip and trendy (But never a hipster. Accuse me of being one of those, and I'll cut you.), look forward to my next entry here. Something more substantial and interesting. Rather than indulging what's probably just internet attention whoring - instead of anything culminating in an awesome public rejection as this would probably be at best - I'll probably be writing about the big Writers' Guild strike that just began in the past 24 hours. Uneasy times for those of us who could go into Daily Show/Colbert Report/Conan withdrawal.


Elise said...

I love your blog. You have a unique style of writing.

Cyber Stalking sounds a bit mad. But as you say its alot cheaper than binoculars and less time consuming than hiding in a bush. And it looks like stalkers get more out of it...

Benjamin Fennell said...

Always nice to get feedback from a reader. I'll do my best not to disappoint, haha.

No kidding. And the sad thing is, stalkerish as this entire stunt is, odds are, from the looks of things, it's entirely engineered - as I suspected - to virally promote the new Youtube competitor video site it's on, owned by the CollegeHumor.com bunch. If it were serious, it probably would've been on Youtube to begin with.